Alone

"Doesn’t it hurt? To leave people like that and act like you’re just strangers who have never even gotten close to? As if you’ve never even known them? Don’t you feel anything? Nothing? At all?"

Sentimental moments were never my thing... And now that I’m in a brink of leaving everything behind, everything is getting so pressuring, I can’t breath. 

What am I supposed to do? Watch things go by and act like I’m meant to do this?

Honestly speaking? I’m scared. I’ll be alone and jesus, alone is not a good thing in a foreign country. 

I’m actually scared of being alone. 

My best friend was right, I should be feeling something. I should be feeling hurt, or sad. Everything, but not scared.

I’m not scared of leaving people behind, this is life. I’m scared of what will happen to me. Is this selfishness? I am not thinking of how people will cope without me, I know they’ll be fine. 

What I’m thinking of right now is... what am I supposed to do? 

The feeling sucks you know? You know what you’re here for, but you don’t know what to do. You just don’t know how to adapt to something that just came out of the blue.

I know I’ll be fine though. 

I will.